Playboy Berlusconi won't change

(The Hindustan Times)


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Playboy Berlusconi won't change = Italy's grubby cheap clown No.One!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Putin's Left Eye Appears to Need a Cold Compress

(The New York Times)


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Putin’s Left Eye Appears to Need a Cold Compress = Top Russian sly-faced creep seemed pale, not top!

(by Maurice Goddard)

China claims supercomputer crown

(BBC)


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China claims supercomputer crown = Atomic power crunch, rips Uncle Sam!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tony Blair's sister-in-law converts to Islam

(The Guardian)


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Tony Blair's sister-in-law converts to Islam = Woman's story recalls blest visit into Iran

(by Dharam Khalsa)

What Cherie Blair's eBay shopping list reveals

(The Guardian)


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Cherie Blair has sold Tony's signature. Where? = Internet's eBay. Weird eh? Oh, our girl has class!

(by Tony Crafter)

Testing the Tea Party: Will the movement live or die?

(CNN)


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Testing the Tea Party: Will the movement live or die? = Titter in my esteemed, grave vote: "To hell with Palin!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Wayne Rooney labelled a 'whore'

(Metro)


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The Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney = Neanderthal brute, lots of nice money, yet a whore.

(by Tony Crafter)

Cheryl Cole sobs in Piers Morgan interview and admits she still loves Ashley

(The Daily Mirror)


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Piers Morgan's interview with Cheryl Cole = Millions view & watch report, see her crying

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Michael Jackson top-earning dead celebrity - Forbes

(Yahoo! News)


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Michael Jackson top-earning dead celebrity - Forbes = Die??? An incredible late performance by Jacko's ghost!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Indonesia warns volcano could erupt at any time

(MSNBC)


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Indonesia warns volcano could erupt at any time = Island country mountaintop lava increased woe

(by Steve Allison)

Cheryl Cole Cries Over Ashley, Malaria, Deathbed Will. Piers Morgan Unrepentant

(HolyMoly)


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Piers Morgan's interview with Cheryl Cole = In which pretty singer cries over low male

(by Tony Crafter)

Celine Dion gives birth to twin boys

(BBC)


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Celine Dion gives birth to twin boys = I love it! CD song here in "Two Tiny Bibs"

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Tricks and Trials of Traveling While Fat

(The New York Times)


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The Tricks and Trials of Traveling While Fat = I'll think? Few love darn tight aircraft seats!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Quiet Vancouver neighborhood privy to bizarre Randy Quaid arrest

(Vancouver Sun)


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Quiet Vancouver neighborhood privy to bizarre Randy Quaid arrest = So quit running over border, quit! Avoid crazy behavior! Dare therapy...

(by Steve Allison)

Derrike Cope's nieces to debut in Martinsville truck race

(Yahoo! Sports)


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Twins Amber and Angela Cope = Team plowed, began in NASCAR

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Jane Austen's style might not be hers, academic claims

(BBC)


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Jane Austen's style might not be hers, academic claims = Lame charge, just to catch "Emma" & "Sense and Sensibility"?

(by Maurice Goddard)

As GOP Seeks Spending Cuts, Details Are Scarce

(The New York Times)


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As GOP seeks spending cuts, details are scarce = Rednecks accept a useless gossip rag instead

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Secret files shed light on ugliness of Iraq war

(MSNBC)


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NYT: U.S. documents detail horrific abuse by Iraq's army, police = Question: Any real surprise? Cyclic hatred! You bad misfit mob!

(by Steve Allison)

Three drills, two engineers and one unprecedented rescue operation

(The Independent)


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Up and out into the sun, home at last! Jubilant Chilean gold miners now finally freed! = Months in an underground jail, no panic but awfully hot. Death tale? Lifetime lesson!

(by Steve Allison)

Taiwanese woman to marry herself

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Taiwanese woman to marry herself = "Now me - as my wife - rather star alone?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

How Did the Leopard Get His Spots? Scientists Explain

(Time)


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How Did the Leopard Get His Spots? Scientists Explain = To answer this, explicit side held: God, He 'paints' spots!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Demonstrations Continue as French Senate Debates Reform Bill

(VOA News)


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Fracas, rage in Paris - French public now on strike over retirement = Brainless tantrum in France is par. Price? work ethic gone forever

(by Steve Allison)

Thatcher Admitted to Hospital

(The Wall Street Journal)


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Thatcher Admitted to Hospital = The ado hit that scattier old PM!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Fish Oil Use in Pregnancy Didn't Make Babies Smart

(The New York Times)


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Fish Oil Use in Pregnancy Didn't Make Babies Smart = Prenatal Omega-three acid 'miss' funny kids in bibs

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Bachelor giraffe in Bristol finally gets a girlfriend

(BBC)


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Bachelor giraffe in Bristol finally gets a girlfriend = Fair, eligible darling fiance sniffs: "Tall orgy, brother!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Osama bin Laden 'living comfortably in Pakistan'

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Osama bin Laden 'living comfortably in Pakistan' = I'm alias 'Fat bin Satan', proving nobody can kill me!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Super typhoon lashes Philippines amid flood alerts

(Yahoo! News)


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Super Typhoon Megi = Emptying our hopes

(by Adie Pena)

Anglican bishop 'will convert to Catholicism'

(AP)


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Anglican bishop 'will convert to Catholicism' = Women catcall, chronic bigot's ill-path vision!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Can Democrats and Republicans work together after the election?

(CNN)


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Can Democrats and Republicans work together after the election? = Tough - American leaders can't be partners, OK! - The conflict towered!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chile Miners Keep the Shades On

(Yahoo!)


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The miners still wear sunglasses = Well, men assure less sight-strain

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Rescued Chilean miners 'may go home from hospital soon'

(BBC)


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Rescued Chilean miners 'may go home from hospital soon' = Men rose. As such, are in high form, emotionally composed

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Enthralled World Watches Chilean Mine Rescue

(AolNews)


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Those Chilean miners have resurfaced at last! = Ah, and let's hail star achievement of rescuers!

(by Tony Crafter)

California Reduces Pot Penalty

(The Daily Beast)


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California Reduces Pot Penalty = Of a prescription need actually!

(by Adie Pena)

Chilean miners days away from rescue

(ABC News)


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Chilean miners days away from rescue = My, machine's ready & low! Surface is near!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

North Korea's heir apparent appears at military parade

(CTV)


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North Korea's heir apparent appears at military parade = Array's appropriate paraphernalia and set, to Kim three!

(by Maurice Goddard)

New Global Anthem Released on John Lennon's Birthday

(The Open Press)


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New Global Anthem Released on John Lennon's Birthday = "There'll Be No War" song! Hated by none, all men join hands!

(by Maurice Goddard)

British Leader Vows End to "Heavy-Handed State"

(The New York Times)


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British Leader Vows End to "Heavy-Handed State" = Ah! Healthy trend! David sees to deviate Brown's!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Michelle Obama 'World's Most Powerful Woman'

(Sky News)


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Michelle Obama 'World's Most Powerful Woman' = Sarah Palin mumbled: "Ow! Ow!! Well, some comfort?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Spoils of Happiness

(The New York Times)


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The Spoils of Happiness? = Pope: "Shh! I felt passions!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Connecticut cheerleaders want uniforms with more coverage

(Yahoo!)


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Connecticut cheerleaders want uniforms with more coverage = Crowd have chance to see terrific women nurturing camel toes

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chilean miners could be out 'within days' president confirms

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Chilean miners could be out 'within days' president confirms = Hidden in the dim abyss, rescue will come, if contraptions run!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Lady Gaga duets with Yoko Ono at US concert

(BBC)


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Lady Gaga duets with Yoko Ono at US concert = 'A swanky' & 'a coy' do act - sing out loud together

(by Aronas Pinchas)