Details of 100m Facebook users collected and published

(BBC)

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Details of Facebook users collected and published = "Cute" chat and bold episodes of a bored luckless life

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Nobel Peace Prizes 'are being awarded illegally'

(The Independent)


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Nobel Peace Prizes 'are being awarded illegally' = Peaceably spied, winner Al Gore blazed "I'll agree!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Most pet dogs are too fat, study finds

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Most pet dogs are too fat, study finds = Fattest on treats, my pug Fido's so odd!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sherrod regards Obama's call as apology

(CNN)


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Sherrod regards Obama's call as apology = Abashed Pres. cools drama - 'O, gal, sorry, gal!'

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Putin Sings With Deported Russian Spies

(Yahoo! News)


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Putin sings with deported Russian spies = Red's this stupid twirp's genuine passion!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Alex Higgins, snooker's anti-hero, dies aged 61

(The Guardian)


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Snooker player Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins is dead = A drink-hellraiser has expired... going on cue, say?

(by Tony Crafter)

Daniel Schorr

(National Public Radio)


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NPR anchor dies (see article) = Rest in peace, Daniel Schorr.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Clintons in tears over Chelsea? You can bet on it

(Reuters)


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Clintons in tears over Chelsea? You can bet on it = Love story's heat can continue in celebrations!


Clintons in tears over Chelsea? You can bet on it = Bill announces: "O! Even I can cry to its toast here!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Police nab bandit who used underwear as mask

(Yahoo! News)


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Police nab bandit who used underwear as mask = Woman ducked alias: "Unwashed Panties Robber"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

A Display on Galileo With Catholic Overtones

(The New York Times)


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A Display on Galileo With Catholic Overtones = Idolise a 'heretic'? Vatican's 'holy' loon lot gawp!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Archbishop Desmond Tutu retires from public life

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Archbishop Desmond Tutu retires from public life = This "Bird of Peace" murmured: "Uplift Christ! So Nobel!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Raoul Moat: Brother and former girlfriend criticise Facebook tributes

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Close the Facebook Page 'RIP Raoul Moat You Legend'! = Cause of people outraged by homage to a killer con

(by Tony Crafter)

British prime minister to meet with Obama

(CNN)


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Obama, British leader Cameron meet at White House = Hawaiian embraces Brit at home. Those meet or duel?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Palin invents word 'refudiate,' compares herself to Shakespeare

(Washington Post)


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Palin invents word 'refudiate,' compares herself to Shakespeare = Dame here's an ever-pretentious spin-freakish fat codswalloper!


The adroit art of codswalloping ~ got cited to "World of Sarah Palin".

(by Maurice Goddard)

American politics has caught the British disease

(The Daily Telegraph)


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American politics has caught the British disease = A high-up A-class 'Cameronitis' beside 'Thatcheritis'

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope Benedict in his Saturn hat

(National Public Radio)


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Pope Benedict in his Saturn hat = Pathetic drip sunbathes in one!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Argentine Senate backs bill legalising gay marriage

(BBC)


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Argentine Senate backs bill legalising gay marriage = At an altar, eligible rank gays beam in sincere giggles!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ian McEwan says Americans are 'profoundly bored' by climate change

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Ian McEwan says Americans are 'profoundly bored' by climate change = "God, war, facile prayer, Islam menace, soccer, ninny Bush, and Obama yet!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Vatican Sets New Rules on Responding to Sex Abuse

(The New York Times)


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Vatican Sets New Rules on Responding to Sex Abuse = Venue's end: Castrate sex abusing priest loons now!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The shortening of America: YMCA to become just Y

(Baltimore Sun)


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Young Men's Christian Association = As it's using a short iconic "Y" on name.

(by Adie Pena)

Afghanistan: When Women Set Themselves on Fire

(Time)


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Afghanistan: When Women Set Themselves on Fire ~ We sense men of Satan who enslave them in fright

(by Maurice Goddard)

Weight-loss pills are waste of money, claim diet experts

(The Herald)


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Weight-loss pills are waste of money, claim diet experts = Wife's cheapest, older way to slim, ain't pills: "Get more sex!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Carrie Underwood marries hockey player Mike Fisher

(AP)


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Carrie Underwood marries hockey player Mike Fisher = Oh! Make merry! Like rays, Cupid fired arrows on ice here!


Carrie Underwood = drew ardour on ice!

(by Maurice Goddard)

That Sarah Palin Video: Beware of the Mama Grizzlies

(Time)


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That Sarah Palin Video: Beware of the Mama Grizzlies = Ever a high-prize half-wit, alas. Madam's better in a zoo!

(by Maurice Goddard)

To Those With Nothing, Soccer Is Everything

(The New York Times)


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To Those With Nothing, Soccer Is Everything = Oh! Thirsty cheering voices, in town ghettos.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Getting a New Knee or Hip? Do It Right the First Time

(The New York Times)


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Getting a New Knee or Hip? Do It Right the First Time = Meek in her eighties, Gran, with fitting op, trotted!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Paul The Octopus Predicts Spain's Win Over Germany

(National Public Radio)


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Paul the Octopus was right in his prediction = Shit! It's got a euphoric Spain in the World Cup!

(by Adie Pena)

Catholic priest Kevin Gray stole $1M and spent it on male escorts: police

(New York Daily News)


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Catholic priest Kevin Gray = Potent, rich vicar likes gay

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Barack Obama A Better President than Reagan? No Chance

(Fox News)


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Barack Obama A Better President than Reagan? No Chance = Barack: "Can one mar that pea-brained has-been actor gent?!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cheaper Charles: Royal Costing Taxpayer Less

(Sky News)


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Cheaper Charles: Royal Costing Taxpayer Less = Shoo a real classy, extra-ghastly, Prince Creep!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Study: The secret to long life is having the right genes

(USA Today)


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Study: The secret to long life is having the right genes = Gee, he's eighty+? Fit DNA it's such strength to live longer.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sea of yellow at Quirino Grandstand

(Inquirer)


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Sea of yellow at Quirino Grandstand = Stately Aquino son leading forward

(by Adie Pena)

World Cup: England crash out to Germany.

(Channel 4)


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England sad as their team goes out of the World Cup = Lost goal. Thumped Four-One. The end. 'Twas a disgrace.

(by Tony Crafter)