Belgian lawmakers vote to ban full-face veils in public

(Washington Post)

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Belgian lawmakers vote to ban full-face veils in public = Brave legislative fuel backs full-blown emancipation?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Charles, Camilla needed neat gin before meeting dignitaries: Laura Bush

(Daily News & Analysis)

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Charles, Camilla needed neat gin before meeting dignitaries: Laura Bush = I see a hang. Britain's sillier female and balmier gent need Dutch courage!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brown Defends Immigration After Blunder

(Sky News)

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Brown Defends Immigration After Blunder = "Flirt and fire! Darn women bigots burden me!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Contacting Aliens 'A Bad Idea', Warns Hawking

(Yahoo! News)

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Contacting Aliens 'A Bad Idea', Warns Hawking = I'd tag Barack as a new alien in Washington, DC!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Greece crisis: Fears grow that it could spread

(BBC News)

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Greece crisis: Fears grow that it could spread = The tragic world case disgraces Europe first.

(by Adie Pena)

Today In Blogfights: Will Sarah Palin Run?

(Time)

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Today In Blogfights: Will Sarah Palin Run? = Nifty darn gal gawps in "O! Hi!" oral bullshit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Good Morning America: Gordon Brown Labour Smoke & Mirrors

(Newsvine)

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Good Morning America: Gordon Brown Labour Smoke & Mirrors. = O! UK mirror on Mr Brown is: A good old scaremongering Rambo!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Study: Nearly half of U.S. adults have heart risk factor

(Newsday)

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Study: Nearly half of U.S. adults have heart risk factor = Due to KFC's 'have-to-hurry' ready trash all stuff in, alas.

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Hollywood Sign, Brought to You by Hugh Hefner

(Vanity Fair)

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The Hollywood Sign, Brought to You by Hugh Hefner = How lofty, eh? Big old Bunny Guy's the thorough hero!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Study links chocolate and depression

(Los Angeles Times)

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Study links chocolate and depression = Snickers do lead to hyped lunatics, son!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope's visit: Foreign Office needs brains, not brainstorming

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Pope's visit: Foreign Office needs brains, not brainstorming = Vatican's toffee-nosed bore's fine trip, brings grim opinions

(by Maurice Goddard)

This column will change your life: The beauty in imperfection

(The Guardian)

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This column will change your life: The beauty in imperfection = In this claim, gracefully true of cute 'Winnie the Pooh', by Milne?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sympathies to friends, families of workers lost in Deepwater Horizon explosion

(Houston Chronicle)

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The Deepwater Horizon oil drilling platform = How a dozen'll die from peril in that petrol rig

(by Adie Pena)

Cameron warns of hung parliament dangers

(Yahoo! News)

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Cameron warns of hung parliament dangers = A rampant handsome Clegg runs for a winner!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tea 'healthier' drink than water

(BBC News)

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Tea 'healthier' drink than water = Aha! That trend rather like wine?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tea 'healthier' drink than water

Killer fungus seen in Pacific Northwest

(CNN)

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Killer fungus seen in Pacific Northwest = Lung pest's horrific influence isn't weak!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Katie Melua embraces feminism

(Yahoo! News)

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Katie Melua embraces feminism = Me! Kissable cute me! I'm in a frame!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama: Financial reform key to avoiding crisis

(Reuters)

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Obama: Financial reform key to avoiding crisis = Barack's to fail rigid vision of American money

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Slain Miss. white supremacist was stabbed, beaten

(Yahoo! News)

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Slain Miss. white supremacist was stabbed, beaten = It establishes men saw nabbed racist's time was up

(by Adie Pena)

Muslim group warns 'South Park' creators of death

(Yahoo! News)

(Yahoo! News)

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Muslim group warns 'South Park' creators of death = USA authors draw results from mocking a prophet

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Muslim group warns 'South Park' creators of death = Authors' sick humor appals; now targets of murder.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Who got voted off 'American Idol'? Tim Urban, at long last!

(Newsday)

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Tim Urban = I am burnt!

(by Adie Pena)

Flights resume across Europe

(NorthJersey)

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Flights resume across Europe = Gasp! Let's cruise home for sure!

(by Adie Pena)

'If I were Prime Minister...'

(BBC News)

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What's the one thing you would do if you were Prime Minister? = Huh? With my wife - a Tory muse - I'd pee in our Downing Street loo!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mount Everest 'death zone' set for a spring clean up

(Yahoo! News)

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Mount Everest 'death zone' set for a spring clean up = Sherpa stunt could get a frozen item, even a person!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Nick Clegg could do with another walk in the countryside

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Nick Clegg could do with another walk in the countryside = Well-to-do chronic atheist chuckled: "Winning trudge. Okay?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Airport Disruptions from Ash Cloud 'Worse Than 9/11,' Says European Airline Group

(Cybercast News Service)

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Ash cloud shuts down the European airlines = Oh, Iceland eruption unleashes southwards!

(by Adie Pena)

Bill Clinton: Hillary and I are too old to be appointed to the Supreme Court

(New York Daily News)

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Bill Clinton: Hillary and I are too old to be appointed to the Supreme Court = He can't pilot & please another trollop Monica on duty (libido-trouble, tired)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Airport Crisis Frustrates Travelers, and Airlines

(The New York Times)

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Airport Crisis Frustrates Travelers, and Airlines = Sit, lie, rest sir - no aircrafts departures 'n' arrivals

(by Aronas Pinchas)

U.S. Must Start to Rein In the Deficit, Fed Chief Says

(The New York Times)

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U.S. Must Start to Rein In the Deficit, Fed Chief Says = Terrific! Aim at cuts in the seedy dishonest stuff.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Obama Promises Renewed Space Program

(The New York Times)

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Obama promises renewed space program = Grab speed, America, Me propose 'Mars now'!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chocolate may be good medicine for liver patients

(Yahoo! News)

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Chocolate may be good medicine for liver patients = Cool! I'm given peril from diabetes, acne, tooth decay!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Why Is 50 Cent Removing His Tattoos?

(People)

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Why Is Fifty Cent Removing His Tattoos? = Ministry vow? Nay, to get it off his chest!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Toyota suspends sales of Lexus GX 460 worldwide

(BBC News)

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Toyota suspends sales of Lexus GX 460 worldwide = Ax 640 lousy rods! Tests would expose design flaw.

(by Adie Pena)

Susan Boyle in airport rant at niece.

(Now Magazine)

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Susan Magdalane Boyle = Sadly, so unmanageable.

(by Tony Crafter)

Palin blasts Democrats, media

(USA Today)

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Palin blasts Democrats, media = Madam still beats "I can do" Pres.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Predator priests shuffled around globe

(Yahoo! News)

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Predator priests shuffled around globe = God, stop blunders! I fear for the pure lads!


Predator priests shuffled around globe = People suffer; the old dour bastard grins!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Sod the lot': UKIP launches campaign but pledges not to fight Eurosceptic candidates

(Daily Mail)

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UKIP's slogan "Sod the lot!" = "Sunk at the polls" is good

(by David Bourke)

'South Park' Duo Hits 200th - And Broadway

(Deadline New York)

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The producers Trey Parker and Matt Stone = Partners met; do create trendy "South Park"

(by Adie Pena)

New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life

(Fox News)

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New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = Well, nympho had illicit affairs! Well ensnared eh?


New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = The nice and sillier nympho had affairs. Well well!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tiger Woods finishes 4th at Masters

(Breaking Sports)

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Tiger Woods finishes fourth at Masters = The man's disastrous effort with orgies?

(by Adie Pena)

Every Black Hole Contains Another Universe?

(National Geographic)

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Every black hole contains another universe = Ah, research likes to be very unconventional!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope

(The Good Atheist)

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Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope = Dapper atheist with warrant on Red Socks

(by Mark McNamara)

Gordon Brown due to launch Labour manifesto

(BBC News)

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Gordon Brown due to launch Labour manifesto = Cameron: "War! I'll rub and boot the unsound goof!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

No faking! Simpson sans makeup

(MSNBC)

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No faking! Simpson sans makeup = Masks mask a fine pin-up on song!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ahead of nuclear talks, Obama sees foreign leaders

(AP)

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Ahead of nuclear talks, Obama sees foreign leaders = All Heads agree to an offer - America's nuke-deal boss!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI

(The Times)

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Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI = We'd risk a partial win in child sex probe verdict

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI = Terrible sex rap. I'd whip Vatican's weird Old Nick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict = Whirlwind attack on Padre describes peril, I

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Republicans Weighing Party's Message

(The New York Times)

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Republicans weighing party's message = My! Seeing her, gasbag Palin screws it up!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Republicans weighing party's message = Palin's speech gigs must be WAY angrier!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time

(The Hindustan Times)

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Not mortality - try Alzheimer of the brain!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Boy! Hot flirt. Matrimony tantalizer here!

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Merry horizontal tomb reality, if a tenth?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Polish President Killed in Plane Crash

(VOA News)

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Polish President Killed in Plane Crash = I, Poland's leader Lech K., splinter in ship

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Polish president killed in plane crash = Sinister end appalled in shock. He'll RIP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead

(BBC News)

Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = Our grieving wife's tears run, as if mined diamonds.


Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = Did mine staff ignore various warnings? Erm...I'd sue!

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Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = A wide unanimous "Disaster!" from grieving friends

(by Dharam Khalsa)