Earth to Moonbase Gingrich -- Ego won't get us into space

(National Post)

Photo: IowaPolitics.com

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Earth to Moonbase Gingrich -- Ego won't get us into space = Note ego - been wishing on a star! Get a grip, too much cost!

(by Steve Allison)

Oscar nominees announced, Septic Tank not in Foreign Language

(Manila Standard Today)

Photo: mobo85

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The Oscar nominee = Notice hero's name

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Seal Talks Possible Reconciliation With Heidi Klum: "Never Say Never"

(E!)

Photo: WEBN-TV

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Seal Talks Possible Reconciliation With Heidi Klum: "Never Say Never" = Nice looks, voice, even kids! But pair his meanness & her ill-will... A treaty!??

(by Steve Allison)

Alaska Airlines retiring meal tray prayer cards

(AP)

Photo: dirkjankraan.com

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Alaska Airlines retiring meal tray prayer cards = As all planes may carry greater risk, I ride a train!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

U.S. commandos free two pirate hostages in Somalia

(Reuters)

Photo: Poagao

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Commandos have rescued pirate hostages in Somalia = Go! As macho marines set loose aid captives unharmed!

(by Tony Crafter)

GOP using Obama State of Union address to grab offensive, blame him for economy's deep woes

(Washington Post)

Photo: The White House

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GOP using Obama State of Union address to grab offensive, blame him for economy's deep woes = Ovation! As most sober Americans blame dopy toffee-nosed infamous GOP fiend, George W. Bush!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dentist pleads guilty to Medicaid fraud for using paper clips in root canals

(Fox News)

Photo: JaulaDeArdilla

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Dentist pleads guilty to Medicaid fraud for using paper clips in root canals = Patients: "Dreadful!" Guy: "Ding! It's classic all-American - So opportune - did profit!"

(by Steve Allison)

Oldest dinosaur nest site found

(BBC)

Photo: dugspr

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Oldest dinosaur nest site found = Fossils in stone turned out dead!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Solar storm pelting Earth with radiation

(New York Daily News)

Photo: NASA

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Solar storm pelting Earth with radiation = Alarm? It's period to await Northern Lights!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Romney slams Gingrich as "highly erratic"

(CBS News)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Romney slams Gingrich as "highly erratic" = "Grr! Scam-scheming hairy gorilla! He's tiny!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Newt Gingrich is the phoniest presidential candidate ever

(New York Daily News)

Photo: patrickgensel

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Newt Gingrich is the phoniest presidential candidate ever = Elephant's sinister, pig-headed, conniving, dire-twit cheater!

(by Maurice Goddard)